Kris -  Regularly tries to steer conversations into quotes from the TV show, Diff’rent Strokes, believing that he is what Willis was talkin’ ‘bout.   

 Chris - Chris was frozen while trading furs in the Yukon during the gold rush, recently thawed and put to work at TBGoods. He has a tattoo of President McKinley on his chest.        
 

 Drew -  Drew was the 1973 State Bowling Champion, but had his title stripped because of a doping controversy.    

 Lee - He has an impressive survivalist skill set, part of which he honed by regularly eating his own weight in pine cones.       
 

 Angel -  In her spare time, Angel makes quilts for old ships to keep their timbers from actually shivering.  
 
 Aaron -  Legend tells of a man that will come and bring balance to the land. Aaron just brought some potato salad.  


Matthew - May have been sent from the future to kill John Connor.
 
 Jason - This year’s model feature all-new rugged styling and a posh leather interior, but still lacks enough cupholders.  
 

 Rob - Bitten by a radioactive weevil, Rob fights crime from his secret lair inside a giant sack of flour.  

 Renzo - In a world where darkness has covered the land, one man is not afraid to plug in a nightlight.
 

 
 Jessica -  *may cause certain side effects, consult a doctor first to see if Jessica™ is right for you.
 

 Kayla - Revived from an 11-year coma, Kayla has an amazing photographic memory that she uses exclusively to memorize the ingredients on cereal boxes and shampoo bottles.
 
 

 Malia -  Previously consulted at a top culinary school because Malia could distinguish between ‘chicken’ and ‘tastes like chicken’.  

 Ben - Ben has a tombstone ready that reads “He was a loose cannon, but still a good cop.”       
     Candace - It’s turtles! Turtles all the way down!